Positively Criminal
by Dangerous-and-Destructive
Summary: "Is detention your idea of romantic?" "It could be romantic…" "Aren't you charming." "I'm going for 'positively criminal' actually." A brief look into the lives of those positively criminal.


Some note passing ensues. And snogging of course. Companion piece to "Like Sunny Days." Image by ~Ayuru-chan of deviantArt.

**Purpose of disclaimer redundant by now.**

* * *

**Lily.**

_James._

**Lily.**

_James._

**Lily.**

_Sweet Merlin, what do you __want?__ I'm trying to take notes._

**Don't Muggles usually say 'Sweet baby Jesus?' or something?**

_I'm a witch. This is Hogwarts._

**Too right you are. I'm glad you're a witch.**

_I'm glad you're glad._

**I'm glad I'm glad too.**

_Wonderful. Since we're both feeling glad, leave me alone._

**But Lily, it is my privilege as a boyfriend to never leave you alone if I feel like it.**

_And it's my privilege as a girlfriend to slap you silly._

**You violent cow.**

_James._

**Lily.**

_I'm trying to take notes._

**Ohhh, you're trying to take **_**notes. **_**Alright, make sure you write about my snogging abilities this time.**

_What?_

**My lips especially…Mmm…Don't they work wonders, Lily?**

_How do your lips fit into my Transfiguration notes?_

**You need to update your notebook, y'know… You've already talked about my hair, what I smell like, and how dashing I look…**

_James, you __prat. __These aren't _those_ notes!_

**No need to hide it from me now, Red. You can freely write about me as you please. I don't even mind how crude it is. For example, "James Potter, my sexilicious hunk of a boyfriend, is so blasted droolworthy and swoonworthy that I find myself constantly passed out in slobber pits."**

_Bloody wanker! I'm actually taking notes in Transfiguration for the first time this month._

**So these aren't the 'James is so amazing' notes?**

_Arfgh! I haven't written such stupid notes in a while. Quit mocking me._

**You haven't? I feel somehow disappointed and hurt.**

_Yes, I know you do. It turns out there is nothing amazing in you as I once thought there seemed to be._

**You wound me, darling, you really do.**

_I certainly hope so._

**My, my. Living up to the heartless ginger reputation, aren't we?**

* * *

He snickered as she pinched his leg menacingly, failing to notice the pursed lips of one Professor McGonagall.

"_Detention_, Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans. That's quite enough of the note passing." And their shocked eyes suddenly snapped up to meet her hardened face before she turned back to write upon the chalkboard.

"But _Professor, _nothing really – "

"_Please_, Professor, it won't happen – "

"We were only – "

"See me after class." The chalk continued to scribble at the board furiously. "Now, Morgan's Effect must be take into account when transforming certain …"

* * *

**Ah…Lily…?**

_Bloody hell, you already got us detention, wanker. What more do you need?_

**Well, on the bright side… we **_**were **_**thinking of going out on a date some time…**

_Is detention your idea of romantic?_

**It **_**could**_** be romantic…**

_Aren't you charming._

**I'm going for "positively criminal" actually.**

…**Lily.**

**Lily.**

**Lily, are you really mad?**

_Yes._

**Agh, what if I promise no more detentions for the next month?**

**Lilyyy.**

**Lily Evans.**

**Lily Potter. That has a nice ring to it, eh?**

_James!_

**Don't be mad. I'm promising fun.**

_What sort of fun?_

**It involves whipped cream…and strawberries…**

_And shoving them up your giant arse, right?_

**Pfft, I was talking about eating fruit tart. Calm yourself. Mind out of the gutters, Red.**

_You're writing this entire essay for me, do you understand?_

**Naturally.**

* * *

**Lily?**

_James?_

**Lily.**

_James._

**Lily.**

_I'm going to transfigure you into a flobberworm._

**Excellent, we could do the dirty flobberworm together then.**

_I change my mind. I'm thinking Blast-Ended Screwt now._

**Even better. We can be explosive.**

_You're such a git. McGonagall's looking at us. Are we really going for a repeat of yesterday?_

**Judging by the amount of cherry chapstick that got transferred to my face last night, you shouldn't be opposed to it.**

_I give up._

* * *

**Lily…**

_Sweet Baby Jesus and Merlin's unluckiest pants. If you're still nagging after all this, I'm dumping you into a pile of hippogriff dung._

**Lily, you practically ate my face off in the middle of class and landed us into detention again...**

_It would seem so. Now shove off. I don't want to see any notes from you._

**Red, you magnificent darling cow!**

_I'm willing to bribe you with strawberry chapstick tonight if you let me be._

**Only if it's vanilla tomorrow.**

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Review, yeah?


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